Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Say a little prayer...but not for me, thanks.

I've taken a long sabbatical from my blog. I needed time to focus on getting my house back together and I decided I didn't want my blog to be about my misfortunes with my home renovations. Issues continue to be ongoing but I refuse to rant about it any more. I just can't justify the outrage over something that isn't really THAT important.

Which brings me to my paradigm shift. I have a friend that seems to flow from one crisis to another. I know that some people believe in a benevolent God that only gives you challenges or misfortunes that, apparently, He feels that you can handle but...when is enough, enough. I'm not convinced, anymore, that even if there is a higher power that they care enough about the day to day minutiae of our lives to be concerned one way or the other.

I see the issues that she is dealing with every day and the new issues that come down the pike on a regular basis. I am astounded that she has not broken yet. I am amazed that she finds the heart or the energy to get up in the morning and face each day. The issues that she is dealing with are life-altering individually. Together they are overwhelming to me, who doesn't even have to grapple with them personally. I do what I can, help as she will allow and offer my support and encouragement when she asks for it but it is difficult to watch. She is struggling each and every day but I don't honestly know if I could handle any of it any better.

It's humbling and maybe that is as it should be. Maybe that is the purpose of hardship, to put things back into perspective for those of us who have lost sight of the bigger picture. For those of us who rant and rave about things that truly are not important.

So my kitchen isn't perfect...so what. No one I love died today. No one I love is suffering, starving, homeless or ill. No one I love is in an abusive relationship and feeling helpless. There are things that are worth getting upset about, there are things worthy of a rant and a rave but nothing in my life is bad enough, hard enough or bleak enough to deserve the expense of energy required for that level of indignation.

I will try to keep this in mind the next time I want to complain...because when I look at the bigger picture...I think, I really need to relearn how to count my blessings and be thankful for all of good and fulfilling things I have in my life.

And for my friend's sake...I may even relearn the art of prayer and see if I can reignite a little faith.